saving myself

I know I have been super MIA for a minute, but trust me when I say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Anyways, I was listening to my I-tunes today while applying for jobs online and what not, and the song "Down here in Hell" by Van Hunt came on. if you haven;t used the genius feture and make playlists based on selected songs, you should try it. I'm guessing that not many people know about Van Hunt, but this dude has a silky smooth voice that sings to your soul. Almost like Anthony Hamilton or the way Babyface does. Anyways, if you dont know about him, look up some of his music on youtube and he also has a song in Something New (which is where I discovered him, and my lazy butt put on English subtitles so I could get the song, Seconds of Pleasure, and artist.)

"I really love it when/love it when we make mistakes/because once again/it gives me a reason to complain/I love the battle lines/battle lines we draw and cross in the mud/oh, I love it when we fight/standing on the verge of breaking up or makin love

What would I do if we were perfect/Where would I go for disappointment/Love without pain0 would leave me wondering why I stay/

I think of saving myself/but with nothing to complain about in heaven/what would I do/
I think of saving myself/but I really wanna work it out down here in hell with you"

here is the video for you enjoyment

anyways, back to the song, i dont know what it is, but it just makes me stop and think about what is really important in my life right now. mainly my friends and family, and how they have helped me become the person that i am today. some more than others, but nonetheless, they have in some way changed me in ways that i cant imagine. i think about all of the sacrafices and struggles that we have been through, but at hte same time, all fo hte good times and triumphs that i have shared with these people. evern though we may fight and get on each others nerves, i would rather be misrable with them than me alone and happy in this troublsome world that we like to call life.

also, since may of you know, i have been jobless, it has been my friend and family that have told me to keep my head up and stay confident even when this economy is so shitty, that i can;t even get a entry level part-time job, because according to many, " you have too much experience" or "you have a degree, waht makes us think you won't leave when something in your major comes up?". Uggggghhhh, it's frustrating, but all the small things, whether it's a letter from my grandma, or my brother telling me to keep my head up, to she who shall not be named forcing me to go out and live a little when she comes home, let me know that i'm not alone and some still lvoe me even with all my faults. and for that, i can only say thank you from the bottem of my heart. you mean more to me than words can express.

-d